I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize