No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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