Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize