Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is Oprah even human
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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