No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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