She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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