Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize