For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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