There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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