How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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