i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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