You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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