do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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