the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
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turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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