i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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