It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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