I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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