does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Two words: blizzard sex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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