Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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