I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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