i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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