I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I did not marry a roomba.
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