I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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