I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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