I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize