Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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