marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize