what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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