i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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