She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My bed smells like the plague
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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