My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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