if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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