i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize