we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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