Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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