is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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