The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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