i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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