I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize