Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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