dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize