No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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