THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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