trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize