Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize