You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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