I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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