doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
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We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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