that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
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