Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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